It is also common to present her or her father with some kind of
trinkets or
merchandise to the value of several dollars. If his proposal
of marriage is
not accepted, a negative is put upon it by returning the
present, but if,
after some days consideration, it is satisfactory to the
young woman and
parties concerned, her mother or sister accompanies
her to the young man's
home, and presents her to him. The mother
or sister then withdraws, and she
stays with her proposed husband.
They appear apparently shy of each other,
and now perhaps their in-
timacy and knowledge of each other's
qualifications are only commenc-
ing. No ideas of state and grandeur - no
homage of wealth - no pride
of house or furniture are sought for, on these
occasions. The man
having signalized himself by feats of hunting, and the
woman by her
industry in the culture of corn and vegetables, are the
criteria and
summit to which their wishes aspire. As the season for
planting, tend-
ing, and gathering corn, procuring firewood, &c. come
on, the female
connexions of the young woman assist her in the different
operations
during the first year, at the end of which, without any other
ceremony,
the nuptial tie is consummated and considered valid and
honourable.
They sometimes, however, take a shorter way for it, and too
commonly
part again on small disagreements. Although they appear to be
natu-
rally lively in their dispositions, and well calculated for social
inter-
course, yet the different sexes are very jealous, and apparently shy
of
each other, so that it is rare to see a man and woman, even of the
same
tribe, conversing together without witnesses. And when a woman
has
occasion to go from home, it is accounted honourable to take with
her
one or more children to testify, if needful, that she has been
orderly.
There are too many proofs, however, that this is only a pretended
shy-
ness, yet being sanctioned, and established by custom, it is
productive
of serious evils, by putting a negative on an open, friendly
acquaint-
ance of the sexes, with each other, the natural tendency whereof
would
be, the mutual improvement of their minds, and furnish a
knowledge
of each other's qualifications, which in many instances would
produce
undesigned and permanent attachments. Whereas they frequently
marry without real affection, without a knowledge of each other's
dis-
positions, and before the judgment is ripe for such a choice; the
con-
sequence of which is that separations often take place - so that
there
are many instances among them, of men who have turned off
several
wives, and of women who have discarded as many husbands. These
on both sides marry again (in a clandestine way) to others, and in some
instances change back again, and thus what ought to be esteemed the
most
important connexion in life, is lightly formed and dissolved, and
shifted
about in a manner unknown among any people rightly civilized.
When such separations take place, the mother generally takes the